Always Searching for More

I'm extremely grateful for all that I have in my life. I've been married to a loving and supportive husband for over 20 years; blessed with three children, a beautiful home, fantastic friends, successful jobs and good health. But, I was always searching for something more.

Nothing was ever enough. I felt incomplete, lacking, unsettled, hollow; as if a never-ending hole needed to be filled. Something was missing. I craved more. So, I searched for that some thing, some one, some place that could fill up my emptiness again and again.

I tried to fill up that hole through material, emotional and physical desires. My search included many people, possessions and achievements thinking they would make me happy, guide me in good directions, settle my anxiety, affirm my needs, validate my worth, make me feel special and improve something in my life.

A few years ago, desperation finally defeated me and I hit bottom. I was tired of always searching. Until, ...my "more"  became increasingly evident.

It began slowly when I was introduced to a devotional book, Jesus Calling. The daily readings connected with my life circumstances and continuously brought me peace and insight. After this, the search became fast and fierce with hunger! My driven personality led me to score more spiritual growth going after this goal 100% with discipline and a set mind. I was all in! So, the process sped up quickly. More, more, more!!

Many of my dear Christian friends helped me continue my search. One friend accompanied me to my new church for the first time and gave me a beautiful cross necklace. Another friend gifted me my cherished devotional, always met and prayed with me, set up a meeting with a pastor, enrolled me in "Alpha"(a weekly church community class discussing and answering common questions about our Christian beliefs), began a bible study with me and invited me to my first women's retreat, an undeniable transforming weekend in my life. A third friend purchased a women's bible for me, went with me to "Alpha" and started a prayer group with me, where I met more incredible and supportive friends telling me about K-LOVE, the Christian radio station that lifts me up every day. It was all overwhelming and amazing! I could not believe the kindness coming from these women to help me, truly being led by God.  I was becoming more and more filled up, and this was only the beginning.

I began to pray my way through my day keeping my focus on God first and His unconditional love. He was filling my heart with truths about how much He loves me creating strength, healing, redemption, restoration, compassion and acceptance.

I feel so blessed to have found my "more" in my relationship with Jesus. I try hard every day to be guided by the Holy Spirit, not fleshly desires. Only He can reach the deep places within me that need Him most, and fill me with the power of His word, His promises and gifts of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. "May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." Romans 15:13

Dear Jesus,

Please continue to help me from searching for my fulfillment in any one, any thing or any place but you.  May I depend solely on you, Lord, to meet my needs and deepest desires realizing nothing in this world will ever satisfy me enough but you. "For He satisfies the thirsty and fills the hungry with good things." Psalm 107:9

It's Not a Coincidence, It's God

 “What a coincidence!” I frequently heard myself saying, over and over. So many things were happening connecting events, people and circumstances in my life, that it was quite incredible. The most amazing part of it all though, was when I finally realized why they were happening.  It was an emotional “a-ha moment” that was a huge turning point in my life.

God was using these “coincidences” to get my attention, and it worked! I was a believer of fate; things happening for a reason.  I believed in God and learned about Him through my religious upbringing.  Regularly attending catholic church and schools from elementary school, high school and some of my college education, I thought I knew a lot about God and the Christian teachings of my church.  What I didn’t truly know was how God had a plan for my life, which first included a deep, personal relationship with His son, Jesus Christ. All these “coincidences” were His works leading me towards that plan.

Years of trying to follow my own path was wearing me down. I was craving something more. So God sent me my angel, Shelley. We were always running into each other around town, but I never knew her name. (Coincidence?) Until one day she reached out to me on Facebook.  Shelley connected that I was in the health business, and she was interested in a nutritional product I was using.(Coincidence?) We instantly became friends as a result of our interests in nutrition, health and fitness, and agreed that proper food and fitness had a tremendous effect on our physical and mental health.  (Coincidence?) Shelley thought God brought me into her life to help with her health goals, but He had bigger plans for me. The most powerful piece of all was missing... my spiritual health.

Our relationship grew, and I began to know Shelley as a beautiful friend who shared her love for God with me. Through our time together, I saw that her undeniable faith in God gave her such peace, comfort and joy. I wanted that feeling too, but didn’t think it was for me, or the right time for me to go to her church. I had stopped going to my church a while ago, after I wasn’t feeling any meaning behind it. So, I declined Shelley’s church invitation.

Then, BOOM! ...A health problem affected a member of my family.  I knew it was a serious issue that was bigger than I could handle, and I was terrified.  I didn’t have control over this matter, and I didn’t know how to get through it.  I turned to my God-send, Shelley. Shelley prayed with me and shared scripture verses about God as our mighty counselor, healer and protector. She told me I needed to give control up to Him and He will take care of everything, working good out of every struggle.

I finally began connecting God’s plan when an  “a-ha moment coincidence” screamed my attention.  Shelley gave me a bible study book about finding comfort only through God. Right within the book, written in black and white, was a story of a person going through the same exact health issue. This character in the book had the same name, same age, same personality type, and same occupation as my family member. WHOA!..It literally gave me chills. I looked at Shelley with tears in my eyes, and said...”What a ......”, and I stopped. “It’s God!”.  “Yes!”, Shelley said, “That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you. It’s not a coincidence, Molly. It’s God!” God put that book and Shelley in my life at just the right time, and it was loud and clear that He was my answer, my savior. “Come to me all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28

I have accepted the most precious gift of all into my heart, Jesus, completing my body, mind and spirit.  All of my “coincidences” were signs of God, God-incidences, planned out to draw me towards following and trusting Him. God steered me through that trial in my life, but that was just the beginning. Out of my struggles, many blessings continue to come, including my unquestionable faith, peace, comfort and strength through constant prayer, worship, and bible study.

My eyes and heart are wide-open for God-incidences now. The fact that I’m blogging for you was all in God’s plan too.  I prayed for God to show me a clear sign as to whether I should share how God has miraculously been working in my life. The answer was a clear, “Yes!”, again in black and white, when I opened my bible after praying and immediately looked down at Psalm 107:2 “Let the redeemed of the Lord tell their story....”.