I Will Not Fear. God is with Me Always

"The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged" Deuteronomy 31:8

I am not alone! Those comforting words resonate great peace for me now that I truly believe God is with me always. For years, I struggled with feeling alone, and at times, it became a paralyzing fear. 

When I was a little girl, I remember feelings of anxiety when thinking of being alone. Nothing bad ever happened to me to make me feel this way, but the insecurities within myself kept the fear alive.  I needed someone with me to assure all was good, distract me from my negative thoughts, and help me make the right choices. I wasn't okay by myself, and I didn't want to mess up and not be accepted or loved.

My mother expressed how much she wanted me and loved me daily as her special, adopted child. However, my negative thoughts would creep in and tell me I wasn't good enough and didn't belong.  Wondering why my father left us when I was only two years old added to my unhealthy thought pattern.  Anxiety and fear grew, and panic attacks and a recurring nightmare began.  I would dream of my mother jumping into a quicksand pit declaring she was leaving me all alone.  These feelings created a dependence on other people since I didn't trust myself and know my true identity as God's beloved child.

As I grew older, I developed confidence and learned skills to deal with my anxiety.  I didn't mind being alone as much, but I still searched for comfort from others.

Seeking support and companionship helped me.  However, my genuine security and healing began when I allowed God full access to my heart, my mind and my life.  God planted the right people in my path to show me His presence and promises, and encourage me to surrender to Him.

Acknowledging God's unwavering presence in my life and enjoying a beautiful relationship with his son, Jesus, now gives me everything I need!  "So do not fear, for I am with you: do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10

I have come a long way in dealing with my fear and insecurities. My quiet times are cherished now, and I really enjoy being "alone"!

God has equipped me with trust in Him, and allowed me to let go of my fears and receive His loving presence and direction at all times.  Considering my husband works out of town all week, leaving me as the sole parent to care for our children, shows my unbelievable progress.  I know it was part of God's plan to rely on Him, have faith in myself and overcome!

I live with Jesus always in my heart.  I am in Him and He lives in me.  I clearly see that God is always at work creating good things, even through bad circumstances.  He guides me daily with His word, prayer and an amazing community of people.  

Dear Heavenly Father, 

I am grateful that my weakness, fears and desperation for needing someone ultimately led me to Your arms.  With faith that you are always near, I have peace, joy and confidence.  Thank you for being in control of my life and always protecting, guiding , loving and providing for me as your precious child. I will not be afraid, and I know I am not alone as stated perfectly in the following song by Kari Jobe, "I Am Not Alone". 

Breaking Free from Lies of Labels

Have you ever thought about the labels you’ve given yourself over the years? Labels that have molded your self-image from things you’ve heard others say or that you’ve convinced yourself to be true? Labels that have stuck with you for so long that you let yourself live according to them? I didn’t realize the impact these labels had on my life until I was challenged to think about them, write them down and destroy them. 

 Once I started examining my labels, something very unexpected began to happen, I experienced deep emotional pain that led to healing and renewal…and it was most definitely, God at work. 

 I’ll never forget the day God began to chisel away at my pain as I sat in my first women’s bible study, “Seed”, about a year ago. I was there hoping to grow closer to God, but not realizing the process I was about to go through in order to know His truth for me.  Our leader, Rachael, had a large mirror in the front of the room and she filled it with words that became her labels. These words weren’t good labels, like “beautiful” or “smart”, but rather labels containing negative connotations that she believed to be true at one time. She told us stories of how she got these labels, either by other’s words, actions, or her own thoughts throughout the years. I strongly related to some of her labels, and I was ready to write my own “false truths”. With my blue marker in hand and personal mirror in front of me, I began to reflect on what words I could write down, thinking all the way back to when I was a little girl. I quickly filled up the mirror with my labels: 

 Fearful, worrier, anxious, weak, dependent, adopted-child, fatherless, don’t belong, not accepted, failure, mistake, rejected, incapable, not enough, unhealthy child, UNWORTHY….OUCH!!

 When I finished, I looked up and saw everyone else still writing. My leader quietly directed me to bring my marked-up mirror to the front of the room where there was a table covered in black cloth and a hammer. She instructed me to use the hammer to destroy my mirror, breaking me free from those labels. I instantly started swinging and the tears and uncontrollable waves of emotion came over me. I smashed it to pieces and couldn’t stop crying. Rachael took me aside and began comforting me. She asked if she could place her hands over me and began praying with words from my Heavenly Father….”Molly, you are my precious child, my beloved daughter, and I love you so much…..You are worthy!...”. My body began to be soothed with each word I heard from Rachael’s mouth. The Holy Spirit’s presence was vividly clear.

 With that first deep cut God made on me that day, I began letting Him dig up all the false truths I’ve believed, so he could replace them with how He truly sees me. I slowly began replacing those labels with truths I heard God telling me through various sources: my daily devotional, scripture, Christian songs, Christian books, and prayer. 

 A few short months later, I sat in a second bible study, “Hearing the Voice of God”, with Rachael again as my leader. God wasn’t done breaking me free from lies yet! For one activity, we were given sheets of labels and instructed to write our false truths on one sheet and replace those labels with God’s truths on the other, ending up with one predominant label from God. I still wrote some of the same labels from before that I needed to tear down. In the front of the class, I literally tore them up and placed them in a bowl, declaring that I am NOT “unworthy” or “not enough”, and I declared my new label worn proudly now on my shirt: “Beloved Daughter of God”! 

 Since then, I strive daily to listen to my Father’s voice and realize that my true identity remains in who God says I am. During this same time, I was blessed in starting up a health and wellness ministry, “Faithfully Fit”, and I’ve led my group in similar activities discerning their truths and breaking them free from their labels in two different classes. I’ve also shared my story at a Mom’s Time Out group in my church this past fall as their guest speaker, relating how we may look healthy on the outside, but our inside could tell a completely different story. It’s not until we learn to balance all four components of our health: physical, mental, emotional and spiritual, with Jesus in the center, that we can truly be completely healthy.

 Revealing my new labels was healing, and I keep them written in a picture frame my best friend gave me and on a seashell from another activity I did with my ministry, but most of all, they must remain in my mind and in my heart. Now I know my true identity as: His precious daughter, perfectly designed, chosen, treasured, adored, held, His forever, famous in my Father’s eyes, beloved, uniquely gifted, dearly loved, wanted, treasured, free, forgiven, Child of God…..AMEN! 

 My dear friends, I pray you learn from my invaluable and powerful experience. Whatever you agree with, you give power to in your life. If you agree with lies, they enslave you. Let God speak truth and give you freedom from the lies of the enemy by consistently drawing near and remaining close to Him. Learn to recognize the lies or they will cause chaos and make it difficult to hear God’s voice. 

“Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you.” James 4:7 

 My mind is being retrained, or renewed to think His thoughts about me. My objective is to learn not to allow anything or anyone to control my mind but Christ. “Do not conform to the patterns of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is-His good and perfect will.” Romans 12:2 

 The surgery hurt, but the healing has created something wonderful, and now I am remade with a new identity from God! “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” Psalm 139:13-14 Enjoy this song by Francesca Battistelli as one of the many ways God spoke to me to relay His message that “He Knows My Name”!

Follow God's Plan for Fulfillment & Freedom

“In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps.”  Proverbs 16:9

I’ve always been an avid planner, and there are certainly positive qualities to having organized plans, schedules and goals to accomplish what we want or need.  However, following my desired path and trying to control circumstances my own way has led to a lot of frustration, anxiety, doubt and fear. Surrendering my plans to God and relying on His direction now gives me freedom, comfort and peace.

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” Isaiah 55:8-9

When I reflect back on all the events that have happened in my life; joys and sorrows, people I’ve met, places I’ve gone and situations that occurred, I can clearly see God’s hand in orchestrating it all. God’s plan included substantial struggles that turned into bountiful blessings.

God carried me through many tough times, never leaving my side. He allowed me to go through the pain to reap a greater reward. My brokenness has brought me much healing, my challenges have empowered me with truths about myself, and my identity is clear as a “Dearly Loved Child of God”. I’m realizing my potential destiny will be amazing if I stay focused on trusting God’s plan, not mine.

Troubles will come, and my weapon now is not fear, anxiety or my own control. It’s prayer! I know the power of the Holy Spirit will lead me through all circumstances. I’m learning not to be discouraged, but to be still and wait on the Lord. God has insight for my problems and will turn my despair into delightful opportunities in His time.

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” James 1:2-4

God equipped me with unique gifts to live a spectacular life with purpose and passion. He has destined me to make an impact on this world according to His will. God’s plan for my life may not always be what I had envisioned, but it goes beyond my understanding to bless me, protect me and give my life meaning.

Dear God, forgive me for trying to follow my own path, and keep me focused on your plan for my life. Fill me with patience and allow prayer to keep me close to your will. May I wait with expectancy for your direction allowing greater things to come. I give up control, worry, fear and anxiety to you, Lord.  I trust you will provide me with all of my needs.